Thursday, May 13, 2010

decisions...

I love babies :) I really do! I love them when they are grumpy, happy, smelly, sleepy... I just love babies!! And I am so thankful that Josh loves them too!! We were talking a couple of nights ago, sitting in Kyson's nursery folding baby laundry, about how many kids we wanted to have and what our future looked liked. I love that we're on the same page! Lots of kids, lots of love, and lots of time spent together. That's our future. Neither one of us are "material" people. Although we want a nice house and nice cars, it's definitely not on the top of the list! 

I am REALLY battling myself about going back to school. There are SOO many negative factors that it's going to take a LOT of will power to make myself go back. I'm dreading it... like, you have NO idea how much. I know it's important to a have a back-up plan, but GOSH...ugh :( I just want to cry (really) when I think of leaving Kyson, right at the age when he should start talking and walking, to sit in a dumb classroom, with dumb teenagers, to learn something that I could NOT care LESS about, when my baby is at home without me. And it makes it ten times worse that I'm working towards a teaching degree and tons of teachers are getting laid off right now. I just can't make my brain (heart) stop looking at it negatively... I think about it every day, and every day I come to the same conclusion that it just doesn't make since to go back at this point in my life... But then that tiny part of me that is uber responsible just wont let me NOT do anything about my future... I WANT to finish school, I WANT to have a degree... it just all comes second to family. What to do, what to do, what to do...

3 comments:

  1. Go to School!!! I'll take extra good care of my grandbaby!!

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  2. :) I know. It still doesn't make the choice any easier to make!

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  3. Do online classes. You can do them through most colleges.

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